Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Weighting for Happiness




It's always bothered me a little bit, when in a commercial someone says... I lost (insert amount of weight) and now I am so much happier than I was before... when I was overweight.
My gut reaction has always been... happiness doesn't come in our body size, what a horrible thing to base all your happiness on... it's an unreliable variable to base any measure of your happiness on.  Do you have to wait to lose the weight before you can find happiness?  I don't think so.
Happiness, I believe, stems from health, not from weight, shape or size.
And there are so many ways to be healthy: physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and socially.... I'm sure there are others :)
I believe it takes a balance... that's why I love yoga so much, it physically teaches me how to balance my body, and inside I whisper a little prayer... please help this physical balance cross over into other areas of my life, help me to be a balanced person.
And just like in yoga, I believe that one area will spill into another area and either bolster or weaken the other areas of health, it may not be a crippling effect or even make it so that you are suddenly conqueror of your inner self.... but, it has an effect.
it's an awkward picture (I think it's the baggy shorts and angle of the camera... or I have short legs), but I'm balancing that's all that's important here.  :)

Saying that, I must admit that recently, after losing weight, I have found that my anxiety isn't as strong, my depression isn't a dark cloud over my shoulder, I feel strong and exuberant, my husband and I are getting along better.... I feel like I'm in a good place.  AND it isn't because I lost weight.  Losing weight didn't transform me, but being healthier did.  Losing weight was just a side benefit of choosing a healthier lifestyle. Eating better, exercise, (still working on sleeping well... what a transformation that could be), trying to be closer to God through scripture and prayer, playing with my children, cleaning, enjoying my husbands company more.  I mean it isn't perfect, please don't go all romantic on me and believe that I live in some dream world or an alternate reality.  My kids still poop every day and I help wipe them.  Josh is still sick with Chronic Fatigue etc etc.  The difference, the only difference is that I feel good, I feel happier and have this gut feeling that I am capable of doing crazy difficult things in life... I'm stronger than I was before.

I am happy with how I look.  When I took my after pictures, I thought I'm healthy and I'm happy with my appearance.  It isn't perfect, but I'm okay with that.  I will keep on working on losing weight, but not because I'm searching for more happiness or the perfect body... I'm going to do it just to see if I can, I want to reach the goal that I have set, so that I can feel the enjoyment of working hard and reaching my goals...




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