Long Walk

I took a long walk with my boys today.  Asher walked almost the whole 3.5 miles.  Isaac, had little to no motivation so he sat in the wagon I was pulling around and ate his peanut butter and honey sandwich.  And Aiden was trying really hard to be a mini Asher... but his little 2 year old body isn't cut out for it.  I, I got a bad sunburn.  Of course, I didn't have a camera... mine has gone through at least a few years of heavy duty use... it's become fragile and cumbersome... and if I'm honest, I lose the important parts of it like the battery charger or the memory cards all the time.  I probably shouldn't try to excuse myself too much.  I need to bring my camera so I can capture all the little moments... good and bad.  I want to start making this a part of our daily life.... or as daily as possible.  It's time to get a better bike for Asher, fix up my stroller and just head up into the beautiful Hobble Creek Canyon to spend an afternoon making memories!  Eventually, maybe we'll all ride bikes up there... but the streets are busy enough to be scary and I'm just going to take it one boy at a time learning how to be safe on the road!  It's possible in another life I was a chicken... or maybe it's just the sane mother in me wanting to keep some sort of control over her children's safety.


Yesterday, I was near breakdown mode.  I ran out of my vitamins I'm using to treat the depression and anxiety.  It was awful feeling so dark and black... knowing it was a mere chemical imbalance... but it didn't change how my body and mind felt.  I made myself do some yoga.  Which, strangely, the immediate effect was that I wanted to cry.  Or write.  I've always wanted to write in the midst of my crashes... thinking it would be therapeutic for me and for others to know they aren't alone.  But.  It's so not easy to share yourself when you are at your worst.  Especially since, I don't want sympathy.  I don't want to come off as someone who is deeply pessimistic, who only sees the dark side of things (but let's be honest, in the middle of depression you're world changes colors... light for obscurity).  Well, I'm not sure if it was the Vitamin Bs (Solaray Mega B-Stress, taken morning and night) my mom asked me to take while I wait for my other vitamins or if it was the yoga, or something else... but today, I felt so much better!  It's like stepping into the light.  It's so much easier to participate in life and get outside and exercise and I'm so happy I was able to do it with my little loves... like I said, I just wish I could have taken a picture of it.

Also, I love working out with Jillian... I've had other workouts that I felt made a difference... but nothing has been as effective as winning it with the Biggest Looser star!  I'm going to hurt tomorrow!