Discouragement

I'll be your super hero mom

As you know, I developed a cold. I'm still taking it easy because of it.  I can't tell you how discouraging it was for me to face that old enemy.  It's stopped my exercise regimen before and it always takes months if not years to get back on track (years when the cold corresponds with pregnancy and child rearing).  In the middle of all that, I hurt my back.  I'm not sure how.  I didn't do anything extreme.  I did some light workouts to see if I could, and because they were light I didn't make sure to do a good solid stretch.  And, by Saturday, I was on a self diagnosed bed rest.  I was so afraid that if I hurt my back seriously (I mean it hurt, but I could move around, just not any fast movements, bending or lifting) I would end up immobile in bed or crawling around on the floor in pain.  I know it sounds dramatic but that's what happened the other two times I hurt myself and I had young babies to take care of.  There isn't much worse than being a mom that can't take care of her children.  I also, probably, made it worse by only applying heat to it.  I should have, at the very least, been icing it and heating it to bring the inflammation down.  Well, now I know.

such a heavy load

It was a hard struggle.  Not running or exercising or cleaning or being a mom and just laying about sucked.  I have anxiety and ADD, exercise is one of my main coping mechanisms.  I need it.  I had to work around my fears, and do a lot of self talk, reminding myself that it's when I'm down that all the positive thoughts and ideals really matter.  I will admit I let things go a bit.  I ate what I wanted, all the while reminding myself of the damage I was doing.  I didn't hate myself for it, but I was frustrated and depressed and feebly tried to emotionally push myself to something more positive.  By Tuesday, I was ready to get back on track (although, it's taken me a few more days to actually make it happen).  I went to my visceral massage appointment, which released so much of my inner tension and my therapist encouraged me to go ahead and exercise... so, of course, that night I'm doing yoga... nothing strenuous but fun.  It perked me right up.  And it didn't hurt more, it didn't feel better per se, but it didn't make things worse.  So, that's a go for me.  I've been slowly adding more, I mean it's just Wednesday so I'm not racing out the door yet but I' moving in the direction I want to be.  My goal is to run in the 1/2 marathon.  Or walk.  Or crawl.  But, I'm doing it and I'm getting the T-shirt that comes with it.
If I could leave a message with you, just remember that it's ok.  It's ok to struggle and it's ok if things get dark, just try to remind yourself of  the positive, ... like the mantras I wrote the other day
1.  I am strong
2.  I have the ability to make positive life changes
3.  I am of infinite worth
(there were more, but I don't want to repeat ALL of them again.)

Do your best and never, ever give up because you are worth it.

What do you do when you find yourself in a funk?  How do you dig your way out?