Recently

You may wonder why I was not here yesterday to begin my diet.  I was in the mountains with my family, for a family reunion.  I love my family.  I love the mountains.  It was pretty much awesome, despite large, diverse, imperfect, family lodged together in a...... lodge.   But seriously, I have five sisters and three brothers... and the majority of them have family, even kids who are getting married and starting their family.  I have always thought of myself as the biggest sister, biggest in size. While I was there we went on a few hikes, did some dance fusion yoga (Lynaea, Leah and I), Yoga Meltdown with Jillian, and went on a scientific expedition searching for Big Foot (Asher, 5, and Nora, 8, were the main leaders and scientists.  It's from them that we found Big Foot hates nature and will therefore randomly knock down and destroy trees, among other fascinating details soon to be released in a video made by Lynaea.)  But, there was no internet and I stayed longer than I anticipated... thus, I could not make my evolving plans known.  The diet starts today.

We also took some family pictures, and I had some before pictures taken to post here (they are not yet available to me).  When I saw the pictures of me, I was surprised... and not pleasantly so.  I was much, much rounder than I thought I was.  It was shocking, dismaying and a little disheartening... is this where all that work brought me... only here? (I've been working out on my own for awhile).  After seeing the pictures, I became more excited to start the diet.  I have an image of how I want to look, an image that may be different then other people's images of beauty, but I'm happy with it.  And it isn't that I'm not beautiful or worth while now... or that I'm going to be happier when I get to the other side... it's all about how I want to look.  It won't be perfect, I have never been perfect and after having three children I don't know if I can attain perfection without surgery... but I can get my body into a shape that pleases me and that is healthy.  Those are two of my main goals... to look how I want to look and to be healthy.

So, I have already started the diet.  I am starting the diet weighing 175lbs.  I will post a picture of my beautiful rotundness soon.  It will be my before picture... and I will be so excited to have an after picture soon!!! :)
Honestly, the diet hasn't been so bad today.  Not great, but not awful.  I've been talking to myself, my inner self... my sister, Mara... or was it Lynaea?... said the key to dieting isn't just power of will, but convincing your primordial, unconscious inner self that you're not trying to kill it by starvation... just trim it down a little bit.  I did smell a box of Oreos earlier today and my nose perked up and my thoughts became impure, laced with sugary temptation, but I thought of my family and I thought of my goals and I thought...nope, sacrifice now to get what I want later... So far, success.