Last Night

So, yesterday was all right.  I did feel hungry a little bit, sometimes.  The plan was to remind my body... I'm not killing you through starvation... just, like a marble sculpture, I'm sculpting a different shape out of your body.  Actually, everything was pretty much okay until I worked out with Jillian Michaels and did her Yoga Meltdown workout DVD.

Killer awesome workout!!!

 I did the easy one, level one, and for some reason it was harder than the level two I did yesterday.  AND after I worked out, I wanted to EAT!!!  I think it's what I do after a good work out.  I eat till mah belly is full, warm and cozy.

this picture in juxtaposition with Jillian feels like a contradiction

 And I deserve it.


 Instead, I allowed myself to eat my portions and then lots and lots of salad.... after my Tablespoon of dressing, I used lemon juice instead.  And then, I was still starving.  So, I counted up my calories and realized that I was only at 1500 and I can have 1800, so, I ate more food... but I still went to bed just a little bit hungry... just a tinge.  Here's the thing, it sort of felt good.  It wasn't easy, but instead of feeling stuffed (like I sometimes do)  I felt clean.   This diet is momentary, I won't always be on it, it's sort of like a vehicle to get me to where I want to be.  Right now, I'm learning about portion control, I don't know if I've ever known what 1,800 calories looks like.  Now I do. When I'm off the diet figuring out what 1800 calories looks like will be easier, controllable. And it's not like I have to count the calories on the diet, I only did it so I could see if I had more calories available for me to eat. :) The program pretty much counts your calories for you, it's just that I am doing the 4 and 2 program instead of the 5 and 1 because I'm exercising and nursing still... and I admit it, I didn't prepare like I should have... I was somewhere in the mountains instead, without internet and access to the guide... so I started out my day winging it, just a little bit.  Today, I will be better.  I know now more about what I'm doing and what I can and can't eat.

This is a can't, cruel to show them to you though, right?

Also, I weighed myself this morning and it looks like I already lost 2lbs.  I know that might be faster than I should be doing.  But, it feels good to see sacrifice, learning, and hard work pay off.  Awesome.  :)